靜靜的騷動Stirrings Still by Samuel Beckett

Stirrings Still by Samuel Beckett

One night as he sat at his table head on hands he saw himself rise and go.
One night or day. For when his own light went out he was not left in the dark. Light of a kind came then from the one high window. Under it still the stool on which till he could or would no more he used to mount to see the sky. Why he did not crane out to see what lay beneath was perhaps because the window was not made to open or because he could or would not open it. Perhaps he knew only too well what lay beneath and did not wish to see it again. So he would simply stand there high above the earth and see through the clouded pane the cloudless sky.
Its faint unchanging light unlike any light he could remember from the days and nights when day followed hard on night and night on day. This outer light then when his own went out became his only light till it in its turn went out and left him in the dark. Till it in its turn went out.

一晚當他坐在桌前時頭放在雙手上他看到他自己站起來走了.

一晚或一日. 因為當他的燈熄滅後他並沒有被留在黑暗裡. 有種光從那一扇高窗裡瀉進來.
窗下仍是那凳子那他直到他不能或不想他用來爬上看天空的凳子.

為什麼他沒有拉頸子去看窗下有什麼可能是因為那窗不能開或因為他不能或不想開.
或許他太清楚那裡有什麼而他不想再看到. 因此他總只簡單地站在高離地面從那陰翳的玻璃看那無雲的天空. 天空昏暗不變的光不像任何他記得的日緊跟著夜夜緊跟著日的日夜時的光.
這外來的光就成為當他自己的熄滅時他僅有的光直到它轉過來自己也熄滅了而把他留在黑暗裡. 直到它轉過來自己也熄滅了.


One night or day then as he sat at his table head on hands he saw himself rise and go.

First rise and stand clinging to the table.Then sit again.
Then rise again and stand clinging to the table again. Then go. Start to go.
On unseen feet start to go. So slow that only change of place to show he went. As when he disappeared only to reappear later at another place again. Then disappeared only to reappear later at another place again. So again and again disappeared again to reappear again at another place again. Another place in the place where he sat at his table head on hands. The same place and table as when Darly for example died and left him. As when others too in their turn before and since. As when others would too in their turn and leave him till he too in his turn. Head on hands half hoping when he disappeared again that he would not reappear again and half fearing that he would not. Or merely wondering. Or merely waiting. Waiting to see if he would or would not. Leave him or not alone again waiting for nothing again.

一晚或一日那麼當他坐在桌前頭放在雙手上時他看到他自己站起來走了.
起初是站起來而靠著桌子站著. 然後又坐下. 然後又站起來而又靠著桌子站著.
然後走了. 開始走了. 在看不見的雙腳上開始走了.

那麼慢因此只有換了位子才看得出他(好像)走了. 好像他消失了就只是要以後在另一個地方重新出現. 然後又消失只是以後要在另一個地方重新出現. 所以一次又一次消失然後又重新出現在另一個地方. 另一個地方就是他坐在桌前頭壓在雙手上的地方. 譬如當達里死了而留下了他的同樣地方和桌子. 就如之前或之後其他人一個個走了時那樣. 就如其他人一個個會走而留下他直到輪到他自己一樣. 頭壓在手上半希望當他再消失他不會再出現而半擔心他不會再出現. 或者只是在納悶. 或者只是在等待. 等著看他會不會再出現. 會不會又留下他一人而又什麼都不能等待.


Seen always from behind withersoever he went. Same hat and coat as of old when he walked the roads. The back roads. Now as one in a strange place seeking the way out. In the dark. In a strange place blindly in the dark of night or day seeking the way out. To the roads. The back roads.

A clock afar struck the hours and half-hours. The same as when among others Darly once died and left him. Strokes now clear as if carried by a wind now faint on the still air. Cries afar now faint now clear. Head on hands half hoping when the hour struck that the half-hour would not and half fearing that it would not. Similarly when the half-hour struck. Similarly when the cries a moment ceased. Or merely wondering. Or merely waiting. Waiting to hear.


p/s: 发现其作家去世前的作品《靜靜的騷動 》的前两节，感觉很悲观，
却是那么的美丽和真实。比较起来《等待戈多》两者同样是以“等待”为主题。

我会比较喜欢《等待戈多》（En attendant Godot）多点，
至少等待的态度，等待的尊严，等待的心情，
等待的目地，等待的过程是乐观或悲观，和戈多的定义是有自己来决定，
似乎简单，但实行起来不容易啊。
每一个人的戈多不一样，只要清楚了自己的戈多，
我相信多苦难，闷长和煎熬的等待之旅，一年，五年，十年，二十年。
我都愿意以最灿烂的微笑和心情来迎接自己的戈多。 （笑）